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Phoenix Vixens: Flames of Renewal April 2025: Issue #3

What Forgiveness Truly Is

Forgiveness can be one of the hardest things to grasp after experiencing infidelity. You might hear people say, “You should forgive,” but that can feel impossible when the wound is still fresh.

Forgiveness, at its core, is about letting go of the anger and resentment you hold inside. It’s not about saying what happened was okay, or forgetting the betrayal. It’s about releasing the emotional hold that the pain has on you so that you can heal. It’s for your peace of mind, not for anyone else’s.

What Forgiveness Is NOT Pretending the betrayal never happened Automatically staying in the relationship Letting the other person off the hook

Sometimes, people confuse forgiveness with reconciliation, but they’re not the same. You can forgive without staying in the relationship. You can forgive without forgetting. And you can forgive while still holding your partner accountable.

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How To Approach Forgiveness (When You're Ready)

Forgiveness is a process, and you don’t have to rush it. If you’re not ready to forgive, that’s okay. The key is to approach it when you feel emotionally ready—not because someone else says it’s time.

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What You Can Do Today Reflect on how the idea of forgiveness makes you feel right now. Does it bring up anger? Relief? Resistance? It’s okay to feel conflicted. If you’re ready, start with a small act of forgiveness for yourself. Forgive yourself for any guilt or blame you (and/or others) may have placed on yourself, because this situation was not your fault.

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Forgiveness is not a one-time act; it’s a journey. Take it step by step, and remember, it’s okay to move at your own pace.

With love and strength,